I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
