i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
