Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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