Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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