i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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