Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i barfeds in our rink
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
