They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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