Small penises have feelings too.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
