I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
