hell yes lets make some ravioli
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
