It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
