I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
