My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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