dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
