Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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