Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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