if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
