WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
