I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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