I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
At least life still wants to fuck me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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