..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
