The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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