I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
