I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
