Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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