Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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