I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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