Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
