It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
