I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
