the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
