does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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