Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
