I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Randomize
