the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
