Whod you bang
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
