he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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