And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
