Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
