Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
