Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
