I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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