She's JV to your varsity
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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