I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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