Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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