im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I lost the right to judge tonight
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
