I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
