Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
