I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Randomize
