he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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